But leaving the marriage is never seen as an option. The common denominator for couples who keep their marriage on track is learning how to disagree with the best of them. Learn how to resolve conflict without threatening to leave the marriage. In most cases, people who have jumped the fence (and left the marriage) will testify that the grass is not greener. But the reality is even beautiful grassy sod eventually has onions, crabgrass and clover if it isn’t properly cared for. On the surface someone may look better than the one you are with. Understand that the grass may look greener on the other side. Research continues to show that couples who learn how to talk to each other, resolve conflict, manage their money, have appropriate expectations of the marriage, and build intimacy are significantly more likely to keep their marriage on track over time. There are some things you can do to keep the vow you made -until death do us part: Learn skills to help you keep your marriage on track. The bottom line is you have to make a decision to stay at the table and be committed to making the marriage work. Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later.Staying married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships.Unhappy marriages were less common than unhappy spouses.Unhappily married adults who divorce or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married. Does divorce make people happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages conducted by the Institute for American Values found that: It might surprise you to know that research shows that divorce does not make people happier. If the going gets too tough, in their mind, divorce is always a way out. Their fatal error in the relationship was making the mistake of leaving their options open. Although many couples who end up divorcing have challenges, the reality is, their marriage probably could have been saved and in the long run been a happy one. Marriage experts have found that couples that make their marriage work make a decision up front that divorce is not an option. How do we fight against the tide of rising divorces? She explains: Until Death Do Us Part? On this issue, Julie Baumgardner (Executive Director of First Things First) wrote some things to consider in an article titled, Baumgardner: Till Death Do Us Part. But what we see in society, is that in many of the ceremonies, perhaps the wording should be, “Till death do us part, or until we’re unhappy, and then it’s till divorce do we part.” And then here comes the clincher to this vow we promise to do this TIL DEATH DO US PART. In our wedding vows most of us promise to “love honor and cherish” each other.
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